Recently the Lord has been speaking to me about what comes out of me when I am squeezed. We’ve all heard the story of the silver being refined and the dross coming to the top. But what happens when we aren’t squeezed by the stresses of life, like our finances, health, and children? What happens when other people disagree with us, especially people we are close to?

The theme this year of the National Day of Prayer was Love One Another. Pastor Ronnie Floyd shared the story of when he committed that no person would be outside his circle of love. Even in the face of persecution, he vowed to love other people.

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When someone disagrees or comes against us, how do we respond? Do we stop speaking, act hurt, avoid that person, or lash out in anger? All of these represent manipulation. I found myself in a situation where I felt misunderstood and became very angry. I lashed out initially and felt justified, but I wanted it fixed immediately in my own strength so I tried reason, praying, and asking advice. I tried to hand the situation to God and then took it back.

The Lord got my attention by showing me that anything short of loving the person back was manipulation. If you’ve been a victim of abuse, I’m not advocating a relationship with your abuser. That is a very serious situation, and needs boundaries and wisdom. But for the day to day irritations that we face in dealing with others with whom we disagree, setting aside offense and forgiving those who hurt you will set you free.

Offense is a strategy of the enemy to divide. A wonderful book on that subject is called The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere. This book teaches us to recognize and avoid the trap of getting offended. How you respond is key.

I find that many people I minister to have a “fear of man.” The root of this fear is rejection. They try to please others at all costs so they won’t be rejected, in the process losing the understanding of the unconditional love and acceptance of Christ. It’s easy to confuse a “fear of man” with a “love of man.” I thought that I had a love for people, but what came out of me when I was squeezed was fear, not love.

If you ask, the Lord will show you how to see people through His eyes. Fear will fall away and you can forgive and rest in His love. Watch your circle of love grow!

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! (Is 30:18)